Wake Up
by Redwinged Blackbird
Summary: Post DT. Spoilers for Season 1. Dean and Sam after the crash. Mostly Dean. First Fanfic, R&R. Now Complete. Thank you to my amazing beta. Enjoy.
1. Chapter 1

Dean woke up in the backseat of his Impala. He tried to put together the broken pieces of his memory of how he had gotten there.

The boys had rescued their Dad from the demons. They had gone to hide in some shack way out in the boonies hoping to be safe from The Demon; but it had been a trap. The Demon had possessed their father and tricked them. The same demon that they had hunted all of their lives- The Demon. It had asked Dean for the colt and he almost gave it to it, but something inside him had said no. Something in his gut told him that this wasn't right, this wasn't his father and it had been right. 'Oh God,' he thought. John was going to be furious that he hadn't followed his instincts and shot the demon, he'd hesitated. 'Damn it,' he thought to himself. Rule number one, shoot first, ask questions later. The next thing he remembered was bleeding; a lot. He pleaded with his father to regain control but he couldn't, or did he? Dean couldn't remember, he thought he had heard a familiar tone in John's voice, but it was soon gone. Dean remembered hearing a shot fired and he felt himself fall. Sam rushed over to him to check him, he was barely alive let alone conscious. The only thought he had was to check Dad.

"Oh, God, you've lost a lot of blood," Sam said as he examined Dean.

Sam seemed more concerned with Dean than with their father. Dean had to struggle to speak. He needed Sam to check John more than Sam needed to check himself.

"Go check on him," he ordered weakly. Sam tried to protest a little but was interrupted.

"_Please,_ go check on him," Dean was barely holding on, but he needed to know his Dad was alright.

Dean was barely awake enough to hear his father to beg Sam to shoot him. Dean remembered saying no, but it only came as a whisper. Like him, his brother hesitated and then he lowered the gun. Sam couldn't do it. The room suddenly began to spin and he heard his father let out an agonizing scream. And then it was dark.

Suddenly he was here, in the backseat, Dean heard his favorite tape playing, the one Sam hated the most. He must have been carried to the Impala while he was out. He looked up into the rearview mirror as he heard his father scold Sam for not killing the demon when he had the chance. He saw Sam shoot a worried glance into the mirror. A look of relief crossed his face when he saw that Dean was awake, if you could call it that, "No sir, not before everything." Dean listened to the words that were being exchanged in the front seat and then... nothing. Just the darkness of unconsciousness that was too familiar lately.

His head was still swimming with all of this information and he needed to rest. Trying to remember everything was giving him a bigger headache than the one he already had. Dean fought against the need to sleep, but quickly lost the battle.

Dean awoke minutes later to the sound of sirens. His strength was slowly returning, that little nap seemed to do wonders for him. He got out of the car, and strangely he was the only one left in it. He looked back at his car and said one thing, "I'm gonna kill him for this." He then turned back around and saw Sam with a bag of ice stuck to his head come out of the ambulance. 'Thank God,' he thought when he saw that his baby brother was no worse for the wear. Then he noticed the stretcher where his Dad was.

Sam walked over to his father as quickly as his body would allow. John looked up at him with concern.

"Are you all right Sammy?" he said hoarsely.

"I'm fine Dad, I'm alright. Don't worry about me, worry about yourself," he quickly assured. After a pause he smiled and said, "After all, in case you didn't notice, you have a bullet still in your leg and not to mention that a semi-truck just sat on top of you." John let out a small chuckle, but it was too painful.

"I want you to stay with your brother, no matter what," he managed to get out before the paramedics put an oxygen mask over his face. John then blacked out.

"Yes sir," Sam said. He wasn't going to disappoint his father again.

Dean walked over to where his brother was standing. He noticed that there was another ambulance for the trucker and he was on a stretcher a few feet away. Sam was looking down on John with concern and worry.

"Sam?" Dean asked to try and assess his brother's mental state.

No response.

"Sammy?" Dean said. But then he looked down at the man on the stretcher. He had to look away. There was so much blood on his face where the oxygen mask and tubes didn't cover the face. 'Sam is going to be messed up for a long time,' he thought.

Dean walked over and put his hand on Sam's to try and calm him ; he could tell that he was worried just by how tense he seemed.

Sam jumped when he felt something touch his hand, but quickly turned his attention back to the figure on the stretcher.

"We need to go now, will you be riding with us?" a paramedic asked.

"Yes," Dean and Sam said in unison.

They climbed into the back of the ambulance and left the horrible scene.

In the ambulance, some of Dean's injuries started to catch up with him. He felt light headed and his body started to ache just a little. He quickly pushed it into the back of his mind. He had bigger problems. Suddenly they heard the heart monitor flat line.

Sam's eyes grew wide as he grabbed his hand and yelled, "No! Don't you do this! You can't leave, not yet."

"Dad!" Dean yelled, as the paramedics started CPR.

He saw Sam look up at him and for a moment Dean saw fear in his brother's eyes. The monitor started to beep again and Sam looked back down. They finally arrived at the hospital and went into the waiting room. Dean left Sam to give all of the medical information and fill out the forms required. Sam was always better at coming up with stories to explain injuries. Dean knew that a gunshot wound couldn't just be passed off as an accident. The hospital would be required to report it to the police.

Sam filled out the medical forms quietly. He flipped through the various fake insurance cards for the newest. He wasn't going to add insurance fraud to his list of worries. It was all good until he had to explain the gunshot wound. And then it came to him.

Are there any injuries that involve a weapon? **Yes **

If yes, please explain. **Hunting accident. **

Sam almost laughed a little at that; it was as close to the truth that he could get. He handed in the forms and settled in the waiting room.

A few hours later, a nurse came out through the doors and called "Salpeter?"

Dean watched as Sam stood, he had wondered what name Sam had given the hospital.

Sam and Dean didn't speak to each other while they were in the waiting room together. In truth, Dean didn't know what to say to Sam, 'Besides,' he thought to himself, 'Sammy probably has a lot to process right now.'

They headed over to the nurse together.

"He's still unconscious, now but you can go and see him if you want," the nurse said softly.

"Do you know when he's going to wake up yet?" Sam asked anxiously.

"No, he has a long road ahead of him, but we think that the worst is over."

Sam let out a relieved sigh and they followed the nurse into a small room.

Dean walked in the hospital room and saw a spectacular array of machines and monitors.

"It's not as bad as it looks," the nurse assured. "He's breathing on his own and he has a steady heartbeat. I'll give you some time to be alone before I send the doctor in."

"Thank you," Dean said as she left.

Dean sat in the corner and watched his brother as Sam pulled up a chair next to the bed and held his hand gently.

Dean didn't approach the bed. He couldn't look at his father's face, not like that in his weak state. He had never seen his father injured this badly and although he didn't show it, it scared him. Even if he could bring himself to face his father, what would he say? That was always Sam's specialty. Sam always knew what to say. He was the catalyst for every chick flick moment in their family. Dean avoided them at all costs.

So he sat and watched and listened as Sam began to speak.

"Please," is what Sam finally said after a few moments.

"I know we haven't always gotten along or seen eye to eye," Sam paused, "And we've had our disagreements in the past, but you have to wake up."

Dean laughed a little at the statement, disagreements! That was the understatement of the year, they had wars.

After a pause he saw his brother look away from his hand and into the man's face and say, "I need you."

Dean sat up at this, he had waited to hear Sam say that for years. He knew Sam needed his father, but never in his life had Sam admitted to it.

"If you wake up," Sam gulped at what he was about to say, "If you wake up," he said the next part slowly and deliberately, "I give you my word that I will hunt with you until there's nothing left to hunt."

And with that Sam put his head down and Dean remained silent, shocked at what his brother had just promised. Sam was going to give up the thing he wanted most for this family.

Hours later, the doctor had come and gone and explained the entire situation to them. Dean didn't listen to a word though, neither did Sam he thought as he looked over and saw Sam's eyes glaze over. He never really could pay attention to long speeches anyways. Dean followed the doctor out. He needed to walk a little, figure things out, or at least stretch his legs that had started to cramp.

Dean was also anxious to leave because he knew it wouldn't be long before the police showed up. He figured it might be a little awkward because he's legally dead and has been wanted for murder.

Sam met with the police a little while after the doctor left.

"I'm sorry, but it's protocol. We have to fill out a report with gunshot wounds," the officer said.

"It's alright, I understand," Sam paused and looked back to the bed, "It's just... Can we make this quick?"

"Of course, just start off by telling me who shot your father," he instructed.

"I did," Sam said quietly with his head down, "But like I said before, it was an accident."

"What were you doing when this happened?" he asked.

"My brother and I, we were hunting," Sam paused to think of what to say next, "It was supposed to be just us and Dad was going to stay in the cabin..." He forced his voice to break a little at this. Sam deserved an Oscar for this performance.

"But he came out to find you didn't he?" the officer asked.

"Yeah," Sam was making it up as he went and was willing to use anything, "I knew where Dean was and he startled me when he came out in front of me... I must have shot him then. The next thing I remember is driving to the hospital..."

"It's ok. It looks like you have a small head injury. It might take a while to put the pieces together," the officer assured.

"Anything else?" Sam asked hoping that the officer would believe his lie.

"No, I believe you. I think it's safe to say that we're done here," the officer said as he got up to leave.

As soon as the officer was gone Sam let out a sigh of relief. He now focused all of his worry on his family. 'Damn it, why couldn't I have paid more attention to the road,' he thought to himself.

"I can do one thing right at least," Sam said as he reached for his duffel bag and grabbed the salt. He carefully lifted the lid and made a ring around the bed.

Dean looked around. He found the vending machines but he wasn't hungry. He was still beating himself up about not shooting the demon, if he had just followed his instincts, none of this would have happened.

"Damn it," he said in vain. He gave a frustrated punch into the wall that made everyone nearby jump and look up. Dean walked away embarrassed and angry.

He started walking back to the hospital room and noticed a beautiful woman sitting next to an elderly man's bedside. She had green eyes and brown hair, it reminded Dean of milk chocolate, she wore a white sun dress that looked good on top of her tan. 'Probably her grandfather,' he thought to himself. He watched her for a moment and the look on her face as she held his hand. She looked so sad, and then Dean noticed that the heart monitor connected to the man was on mute and he had flat lined and passed. She looked up at Dean and he was suddenly embarrassed, she had a look of shock in her eyes and Dean realized that he had intruded on a deeply personal moment for her. He quickly turned away and continued walking back to the room. He couldn't shake the feeling of guilt that racked his brain.

When he arrived in the room he noticed that Sam had salted around the bed and he was now reading a magazine with a fresh ice pack against his head.

"Why didn't I think of that?" Dean scolded himself. The salt would keep any demons from possessing Dad while he was unconscious and it would keep his spirit from wandering. Dean stomped over to his chair, it was his job to look out for the family and what had he done instead? He had gone out for a little stroll. 'Good job genius,' he thought. He watched as Sam seemed to be getting a headache, but it quickly passed as Dean's anger turned to concern.

Dean was really starting to worry about Sam. They hadn't really spoken a word to each other, they had a lot on their minds. It wasn't like Sam to be this quiet.

Sam looked at his magazine, he wasn't really reading it as much as he was looking at the various ads and pictures absent mindedly. He thought he heard the door open but he didn't look up. He had a huge headache, but he was thankful that it was just a headache and not another vision. He comforted himself with the idea of how Dean was going to kill him for messing up the Impala when this was all over. He put the magazine down to go back to the side of the bed.

Although he didn't show it, he worried about his Dad. He kept replaying their last conversation in his head.

"I want you to stay with your brother, no matter what," is what he'd last said to Sam and so far, he had kept his promise. Sam looked at the clock on the wall and he realized that he hadn't slept and it had almost been a full day since his father had said those words to him. Sam was beginning to miss the sound of his father's voice and wondered when he'd get to hear it again. Sam knew that John wasn't in great shape, but neither was Dean. Sam had fought off sleep as long as he could, but it finally over took him as he almost collapsed back into the hard chair.

Dean watched his brother go back to the chair and instantly fall asleep.

"Good," he said to himself glad that Sam was finally getting some sleep. "Now all I have to do is get him to eat," Dean worried. He knew that Sammy didn't eat when he was caught up in everything and stressed. 'How did he ever survive finals at Stanford?' He thought to himself half laughing.

Dean leaned back into the chair to get some rest.

He was startled hours later to hear the signs of Sam having a nightmare.

"Rise and shine Sammy," he said to his brother, but that didn't wake him and the nightmare only got worse.

Dean got up and walked over to Sam and said, "Wake up Sammy," as he put his hand to Sam's head.

A wave of dizziness caught Dean suddenly and he fell to the floor. He quickly stood up but he realized that he was no longer in the same room. Something caught the corner of his eye, it was Sam. He watched through the window as Sam was at his father's bedside, he was trying to say something but all that came out was, "Dean," in a voice that cracked. Dean looked and saw that his father was awake. The looks on their faces were one's of complete sorrow and sadness.

Suddenly, Sam stood and left the room nearly running into Dean.

"What the hell is going on here?" Dean said surprised and confused.

Sam quickly turned on his heels to face Dean and a look of shock was on his face.

"DEAN?" he yelled. He lost his balance fell to his knees.

Dean rushed over to his brother and held him. "What's wrong Sam?"

Sam looked up at Dean. His face was grave as he said, "Dean, your supposed to be dead, you died fighting a demon that tried to possess me," he paused before he added, "God I'm sorry. Dean, it's all my fault if I had just-," he was cut off but Dean.

"What are you talking about? I'm here, I'm fine," he quickly assured Sam.

It was then that Dean realized where he was, he was in Sam's dream.

"Sammy!" Dean tried to get Sam to look at him again, "Sam you gotta listen to me," he said. He tilted Sam's chin up to force his gaze. "Are you listening?"

"Yes," Sam whispered.

"Sammy, your having a nightmare, you have to wake up," Dean instructed. "Listen Sam, I came over to wake you up and I touched you to get you to come back to reality. It looked like you had enough lollipops and candy canes," Dean explained. "That's how I got here," he finished.

"No," Sam said shaking his head, "I saw you, I watched you die, you killed the demon. You saved Dad and me," Sam said.

Dean shook Sam and said, "No Sam, It's just a nightmare. WAKE UP!"

Suddenly Dean was back. He saw Sam wake up with a gasp and yell out, "DEAN!" It worked.

"That was... weird," Sam said finally.

"You don't have to tell me, I was there," Dean said with a groan as he got up off of the hard floor.

Sam suddenly got up and leaving Dean behind as he left the room, he needed a break from all of this. Not to mention his stomach had started to protest from hunger hours ago. He was breaking his promise to his father, not because he wanted to, but because he needed to. Sam beat himself up over letting his father down yet again as he went in search of the vending machines.

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TBC... Chapter 1 out of 4. The more reviews I get, the faster I post Chapter 2. Evil grin And trust me, you want to read Chapter 2.

Motivate me...


	2. Chapter 2

Sam returned to the room after a few hours with enough snacks to hold him out for at least a week. He sat in the chair closest to the bed; Dean saw the look of guilt on his brother's face as he stared at the bed.

'I should have stayed, I shouldn't have left him,' Sam thought. 'I don't know what I would have done if he would have woken up while I was gone."

"Sam..." Dean tried.

Silence was all that followed, Sam wouldn't even look up at Dean.

Dean got the message- Sam needed some alone time.

"I think I'll go and check out some of the nurses, see if any of them are hot," Dean said as he left the room, he still got no response.

Dean walked around and was more than a little disappointed when none of the nurses met his expectations. He was on his was back to the room when he bumped into the woman he saw before. Dean took this opportunity to apologize to her. He still couldn't help but feel guilty.

"Listen," Dean said rubbing the back of his head, "I'm sorry about before, I didn't mean to intrude-"

"Oh that?" she said, "Think nothing of it."

Dean gave her a confused look.

"You see, when someone is dying I come in and take it upon myself to hold their hand, anything to comfort them in their last moments," she explained.

"So you work here?" Dean asked with a cocked eyebrow, maybe there was a hot nurse after all.

"You can say that. It's my job, but no matter how many times I do it though, it still hurts me," she said.

"It's never easy to watch someone die," Dean said quietly, he knew all to well from previous hunts.

"Listen, I have some place to be," she began. "But maybe we can meet up later for coffee or something?"

"Definitely," Dean said with a smirk and the voice he reserved for picking up girls.

"See you around then," she said as she smiled and walked off.

Dean continued on his way back to the room.

Dean entered through the open door and sat down, but Sam didn't even seem to notice. 'God, he's in shock, he probably thinks that this is his fault for some reason,' Dean thought to himself. Dean began to pace as he searched his mind for the right words to say to his brother. He would have to do this carefully or risk Sam blowing up in his face.

Meanwhile, Sam was staring at the bed. 'It's been almost three days since I've spoken with either Dad or Dean,' Sam thought to himself, he was getting increasingly worried and he needed to stay strong, for both of them.

"Please, just wake up, I can't keep waiting like this," Sam begged one more time. No response.

It had been about an hour and a half since Dean arrived back in the room. No matter how much he thought, he couldn't quite think of the right thing to say. Everything that he would say would be followed by a quick reply from Sam with evidence to the contrary. No matter what he said, it would erupt into an argument. He finally gave up and decided that he would take the direct approach and confront Sam head on.

"Damn it Sam, you know I'm no good at these chick flick moments. That's your job. So come on, tell me what those wheels in your head have been cranking out."

Sam just sat there, staring at the bed.

Dean stood there waiting for Sam to respond. He was easily frustrated, and the stress he was under didn't help any.

Sam looked up at the ceiling suddenly and said, "Come on Dean, please."

Dean was taken back by this. It wasn't like Sam to avoid a talk. 'This is going to be worse than I thought,' he thought to himself.

Dean sighed and finally said, "Alright Sammy. We don't have to talk about it right now but don't think that I'm just gonna forget about this."

Dean continued to pace, he had to get Sam to talk to him.

It was day four, Dean was able to rest off and on, but Sam never slept- not since his last nightmare. Although this started to worry Dean, he couldn't blame Sam. That nightmare was really strange, even in Dean's standards.

Dean turned his gaze towards the magazine table. He didn't pick one up to read, he just looked at the covers, magazines were really never his thing. They reminded him of the ladies in beauty parlors that would go there to gossip too much. When he finally looked up, he noticed that Sam had drifted off.

A few minutes later, Sam was beginning to show signs of a nightmare.

"Here we go again. Just please don't suck me into your brain again Sammy," he said aloud as he started to walk over to wake Sam. But before he had taken two steps he was beaten to it. Sam awoke with a gasp as a nurse knocked on the door. Dean turned to look at her.

"I'm sorry Mr. Salpeter, did I wake you? We could come back another time..." the nurse apologized.

"No, no. Now's good. What is it?" Sam said in a tired voice while running a hand over his face.

"He felt well enough to visit," the nurse said as she turned around to grab the wheelchair she had concealed.

"WHAT THE HELL?" Dean yelled as he saw the person in the wheelchair. Sam flinched a bit at this.

"Dad," Sam said as he stood to greet his father, "I was beginning to worry."

Dean had fallen to the ground in shock. That couldn't be his Dad. His Dad is in the hospital bed to the left of him.

"Don't worry about me," John said, "How's Dean?"

"IS SOMEONE GOING TO TELL ME WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?" Dean managed to yell out. Sam ignored his demand and rubbed his forehead. Dean could tell he was getting a headache.

"You alright son?" John asked with concern.

"Yeah," Sam paused as he sat, "Just a headache," he gasped.

"_Just_ a headache or-"

"Just a headache," Sam said.

"You're sure?" John said as his concern grew.

"Ahh," Sam gasped, "Yeah Dad I just... I just need minute." Sam squinted his eyes and rubbed his head in an effort to lessen his headache.

After a moment passed and Sam's pain lessened a little and John repeated his question.

"How's Dean?" John asked softly.

"I'm fine, I'm right here Dad," Dean said frantically as he got up off of the ground. But his statement went ignored and he heard his brother say something that shook Dean to the core.

"He still hasn't woken up," Sam said as he looked back at the bed.

"No!" Dean said. Dean slowly turned to look at the person lying in the hospital bed. He hadn't been able to bring himself to look at the face since the ambulance ride. Dean was shocked at what he saw. All this time, he's been the one Sam was worried about.

"Oh my GOD!" was all he could manage to say before he fell back onto the floor.

Sam was glad to see his father, one less family member to worry about. Guilt still ate away at him for leaving Dean alone for those few hours. What if Dean had woken up and was alone? What would he think? Sam knew all of the horrible worst case scenarios that would cross his brother's mind. For Dean to think even for a moment that he had lost his brother and his father... It would have been torture. Let alone for the few hours that he was gone.

John saw the look of guilt on his son's face and it made his stomach churn. He had to say something to him before this got to far out of hand, if it hadn't already.

"Sammy, are you alright?" John asked, "You look like you've been to hell and back."

"Fine," Sam said absent mindedly without looking up from Dean.

"I know what you're thinking," John continued, "This isn't your fault."

"I was driving the car," Sam said devoid of emotion.

"What? You think that that's why Dean's hurt? What were you going to do, let Dean drive while he was unconscious, or me with a bullet in the leg? One way or another Sam, you got us to the hospital," John assured.

"Yeah, I guess," Sam said and he paused. "I broke my promise Dad, I left him."

"What?" John said confused.

"You told me not to leave him and what do I do? As soon as I have a nightmare I go for a walk. Dean would never leave me if I were lying there," Sam said.

"Is that what you're so broken up about? Listen to me Sammy, I'm not real excited about you leaving your brother but I understand- you needed a break. It has been four days," John said. "Since when do you follow my orders anyway Sammy?" John said half laughing to try and lighten the mood.

Sam still hadn't looked up at John until now, and John then wished he hadn't, it pained him to see how much Sam was torturing himself.

"Dean never did leave me, not even now," Sam stated.

"What do you mean Sam he's been unconscious?" John asked.

"He woke me up," Sam said, "From my nightmare."

"It was just a dream Sammy, just an everyday, run of the mill, naked in class-" John was cut off by Sam's laughter.

"That's exactly what Dean said the first time we had this conversation," Sam smiled at how much his brother and his father were alike.

"_THAT_ kind of nightmare!" John said alarmed.

"No, not quite. It was a normal nightmare, if you can call our kind of nightmares normal, but Dean was there," Sam explained.

"I'm not following you Sam, so what, Dean was in your nightmare," John said.

"No I mean, he was _there_ Dad, he was real," Sam said, "He came and told me I was having a nightmare and woke me up."

"I'm still not convinced, you've been under a lot of stress Sammy," John said.

"Dad, I _felt_ him, not just in the dream, even now," Sam said.

"That's good Sammy, that means he's still here, with us," John said.

"Yeah, I guess," Sam said slightly relieved that his father wasn't angry.

Dean woke up in a haze on the floor of his room, man he had a killer headache. He stood up and everything came rushing back and he started to panic. "Okay, okay, so I'm outside of my body, worse has happened," he said to himself trying to calm down. 'How do I fix this,' he thought rationally. He needed to get back into his body, and fast. He could see that Sam and his father couldn't take much more of this. He investigated the ring of salt that surrounded his body, 'How bad could it be?' he thought to himself. Dean bent over and lowered his hand to touch the salt. Bad idea, that was about as smart as touching a hot stove, it felt the same too. Dean pulled back quickly and cried out in pain, he saw Sam wince out of the corner of his eye. He wouldn't be doing that again any time soon. "Damn, no wonder spirits are repelled by salt, it hurts like a bitch," Dean said to himself. He also knew that this was probably Sam's extra potent stuff.

"Okay, not your best idea Dean new plan," he said to himself.

Dean decided to try stepping over the salt; it couldn't hurt him if he didn't touch it. He smiled inwardly at his own brilliantness.

"See, you don't have to go to college to be a genius," he said to Sam before he attempted to step over the line. Dean hit a wall that pushed him back a few feet and he landed on Sam who immediately stood up startled at what hit him.

"Sorry Sammy," Dean groaned as he got up. "Out of everything Dad told us training, this is what you choose to remember college boy?" Dean said to Sam even though he knew that Sam couldn't hear him.

Sam stood up to fast, he felt a what he thought was a spirit hit him and it caused him to feel dizzy and he fell back into the chair. He couldn't take much more of this, Sam looked over at his father who had fallen asleep in the wheel chair, suddenly he laughed inwardly when he looked at John's hospital gown. John Winchester in a dress, where's his camera phone when he needs it? He silently wondered why he felt like he had burned his hand, he hadn't touched anything hot and there were no marks, he shrugged it off as imagination.

"Get a grip Sam," he said to himself.

Sam reached over and hit the nurse's button, a few moments later Dean's nurse entered the room.

"Anything wrong?" she asked.

Sam put his finger to his mouth in a silent shhh. Sam pointed at his father and motioned for her to take him back to his room, he needed his rest.

The nurse smiled and nodded to say that she understood and took his father away.

Sam leaned back over to the bed and started to talk to his older brother again.

"You're going to kill me when you see your car," Sam said to try and get a response.

Dean was standing next to Sam, he laughed when he heard what his brother said and replied with a, "Damn right I am."

Sam was willing to try anything to get his brother to wake up at this point and leaned in closer to say something into Dean's ear.

"Metallica is the worst band ever and you know it," Sam said with a smile. He thought he felt a sharp pain in the back of his head as if some one whacked him, but decided that it was nothing. Sam leaned back in his chair and let out a sigh.

He began to talk again, "I know that you're here and I know that you can hear me, I feel you in the room, don't ask me how, but I can. I need you to wake up, for me Dean. It's been over two days since I've had any sleep and I don't know if I can stay awake much longer. I'm still not excited about the nightmares, I can live with them. It's this that I can't live with," Sam swallowed waiting for any sign that Dean would wake up. "Dean please, I know you think that I can go on without you, that I have all these friends to go back to, but I haven't told you everything. After that shape shifter job, no one's called me or anything. Becky I understand, she's a little freaked still, but everyone else Dean, they've moved on without me. In the end all I have are you and Dad, and God knows that Dad will sacrifice himself in this hunt and that just leaves us. Dean please, I can't stand this anymore, you need to wake up."

Sam sat next to Dean for a few moments in silence, but they felt like hours.

Sam finally added one last bit, "I'm so sorry Dean. This is my fault, I don't care what Dad says. I was driving the car, maybe if I wasn't so caught up in my fight with Dad... maybe if I just would have listened to you and stopped arguing with him on everything... you might have come out of this better."

Then there was nothing left for Sam to say. He then put his head down on Dean's arm and fell asleep at his side.

This was about all Dean could stand, he couldn't watch his brother suffer like this. Dean decided to walk the halls, at least clear his head.

As he left the room, he made sure that Sam was still asleep, he didn't want to worry him if Sam couldn't feel him in the room.

Dean managed to find his father's room, Dean went in to check on him to see that he was alright.

John was sleeping so Dean thought it would be best if he left his father to his dreams. He went to investigate the nurses' station again and was yet again disappointed at what he saw. Dean decided to walk back to his room, there wasn't much he could do yet, no one could see him or hear him. Although he did entertain himself briefly by tapping the nurses shoulders to make them turn around.

It was then that he ran into her again, the woman from before. She looked up and smiled at him as she passed by. This was too weird for Dean. Something was up and he knew it.

"What the hell are you!" he demanded, "You can see me!"

The woman sighed and turned back around to face Dean "I was hoping to put off this conversation for a little longer, I don't think you're ready yet," she said as she was turning.

"No, I don't think you're ready yet!" Dean said before he yelled, "CHRISTO!"

Dean stood there stunned when nothing happened.

"Oh don't tell me you think that I'm a demon?" she said softly almost laughing.

"I don't know what to think, you never answered my question," Dean said suspiciously.

"What are you!" Dean repeated himself, "And you'd better answer before I decide to shoot first and ask questions later."

"First, shoot with what? You can't really do anything at the moment. Second, I'll answer your question, hear me out. I have many names in many cultures. You'll be hard pressed to find one that shows me for what I am, but I like Azra the most."

"I was never much for riddles, Azra. Tell me what the hell you are or I run back and jump into my brother's head and tell him what's going on. I might not be able to do much about you, but Sam isn't a force to be reckoned with, even when he hasn't slept," Dean threatened.

"I'm going to need you to promise not to freak out then, just keep in mind that if I was after you, you'd already be gone," Azra said.

"Fine, just start explaining," Dean said impatiently.

"I am Death," she stated.

Dean took a step back in amazement and although he didn't show it, fear.

"Um... I've seen death, stared it in the face even, and no offense but-," Dean was suddenly cut off.

"You're wondering why I'm so, to put it in your terms, hot?" Azra laughed, "I need to correct myself. I am the Angel of Death."

"Okay..." Dean said, she was definitely an angel by her looks, but death? 'It can't be,' he thought.

"What you saw before was not death in its true nature," she said, "Reapers were created by evil for evil purposes. By the way thanks for taking care of that one up in Nebraska for me, it was becoming a real pain in the ass."

Dean was surprised at what he heard. He had so many questions but the first to come out was, "Angels are allowed to curse?"

"Oh please Dean, do you think that God really has time to worry about every little word that a person says? He tends to frown upon it but He's kind of got enough to deal with without that. You of all people should know that," she let out a laugh.

Dean nodded, it made sense. But he was still wary and refused to let his guard down, this was Death he was dealing with after all.

"Dean you don't have to fear me as much as you do. I kind of get a bad reputation with the living, you know, the whole death personified thing," Azra told him.

He slowly felt himself trust her more although he couldn't understand why.

"Come on Dean, I'll walk you back to your room," she said.

Dean paused and after a moment accepted her offer.

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Thanks for all the comments so far! If you haven't commented yet don't be shy, I don't bite. Half way there, Ch. 2 out of 4. TBC...

This definately puts a different spin on things to say the least... This plot bunny was eating my brain all summer. MORE SOON.

'' Mr. Monkey Out.


	3. Chapter 3

1When they arrived at the room Dean was relieved to see that Sam was still asleep, but that immediately changed as he saw Sam start to thrash in his sleep. He was having a horrible nightmare by the looks of it, if not a vision.

"SAMMY!" Dean yelled.

"He can't hear you, remember?" Azra said.

Dean started to run over to wake Sam but stopped dead in his tracks as soon as he remembered his last attempt to wake him.

"What are you waiting for Dean! Wake your brother up!" Azra ordered him.

"But what if I get sucked into his dream again?" Dean asked.

"You will, but it's the only way Dean. I'll be right here in case anything happens. Death isn't my only trick," Azra assured him.

Dean felt like he could trust her for the moment at least and put his hand on Sam. He felt the room start to spin fell to the floor again.

When he woke up he knew exactly where he was this time. Sam was reliving the night of the crash. Dean was pinned to the wall, and he was bleeding; again. He saw Sam struggling against the invisible force that held him to the wall. Dean felt no pain this time, he wasn't really bleeding. this was a dream, but Sam believed that his brother was dying and that was enough.

"Sammy!" Dean tried to yell out, but it only came as a whisper. This was Sam's nightmare and whether Sam realized it or not, he made the rules.

Sam heard his brother cry out. His brother had lost so much blood; he knew this couldn't last long. Sam's mind was on fire as he struggled against the invisible force that the demon had over him. He heard his brother say his name again and that was enough. Dean was dying and there was nothing that Sam could do about it but watch. Sam watched as Dean's head started to drop to his chest and he heard his name one last time, Dean was trying to tell him something but he was too weak, "Sammy-,"

"NOO!" Sam yelled as he closed his eyes as tightly as he could. Suddenly he heard a shot and something drop. Sam was released from the wall.

Dean looked on in amazement at what he saw- Sam had fired the gun at the back of the demon's skull, just like Max.

Dean fell to the floor and before he could get up Sam was next to him. Dean looked and saw how much more severely he was beaten. What had happened differently before he got there? Sam also had a massive headache that he was doing a poor job at hiding, probably from the telekinesis.

"Dean! God you've lost a lot of blood," Sam said.

"I'm fine Sammy," Dean replied.

"No you're not so quit trying to hide it jerk," Sam said.

"Really Sam, you have to listen to me," Dean ordered, "You're having another nightmare and I'm here to wake you up, bitch."

A look of recognition crossed Sam's face and his expression changed to a mix of worry and relief.

"Dean!" Sam said as he held his brother, "Oh God Dean, I'm so worried about you, you're the one who needs to-" Sam was cut off as he woke up with a gasp. Sam turned to look at his brother's unconscious body and continued his sentence, "-wake up."

Sam's headache carried over from the nightmare intensified. He squinted his eyes and inhaled sharply and shielded his eyes from the light.

"Ah, Dean!" Sam said.

Sam could feel his brother in the room, but he could also feel a stronger, more intense force that he couldn't recognize. He grabbed blindly some pain killers out of his bag and felt his way to the bathroom to get some water. He swallowed the cold water too fast and the headache that followed from the cold was enough to knock him back into the hard chair. "Great," he said out loud to himself, "I can tell you seven ways to get rid of a spirit without blinking, I can tell you anything about pre-law, hell, I can even predict the future sometimes, but can I see an Ice-Cream-Headache coming? No, not yet. I doubt even Missouri can," he laughed a little at that.

Dean got up off of the floor, careful to avoid contact with the salt.

"Glad to see you're finally awake sleeping beauty!" Azra laughed.

"Where's love's first kiss?" Dean smirked.

"Oh you're funny," Azra laughed, "And you and I both know it would be far from your first."

"Yeah well 'the kiss of death' doesn't really appeal to me right now anyways," Dean smiled.

Azra broke up laughing at that statement. Dean looked on puzzled, it wasn't _that_ funny.

"What?" Dean asked.

"Oh nothing, it's just," she took a pause laughing, "I haven't done it that way in years, I'll have to remember that."

"THAT'S REAL?" Dean stepped back in amazement and surprise.

"Well of course it is Dean, I gotta have a little fun sometimes," Azra laughed.

Dean let out an uncomfortable laugh and sighed as he ran his hand through his hair.

"Oh come on, you can't tell me your afraid to die?" Azra said.

"Well yeah, I'm not exactly looking forward to it if you haven't noticed," Dean said uncomfortably.

"That's the one thing that confuses me about people," Azra smiled.

"Why?" Dean asked, "I thought you'd understand more than anyone."

"It's because I understand death so completely, that's why I don't get it," Azra stated.

"Huh?" Dean was lost.

"Let me explain, you see Death is just another part of life. You're born, you live your life and you see people die before it's your turn. Dean, what do you think happens when you die?" Azra asked.

"Well," Dean rubbed the back of his head, "I guess I haven't really thought about it. I guess if you're good you go to heaven or what not and if you're bad..."

Azra laughed a little, "What, you go to hell?"

"Well yeah, isn't that the general idea?" Dean asked.

"Yes and no. Let me enlighten you a little. Hell was created by God for demons and other evil things. No human soul goes to hell, but not every soul goes to heaven. Most go to heaven right away though, contrary to popular belief, there is good in EVERY person," Azra said.

"Then what happens to the rest, how does God deal out 'retribution'?" Dean asked.

Azra laughed a little, "Dean what do you think Karma does all day, just sit on her hands and watch infomercials on TV.? That's her whole purpose. You'd like her; she has your sense of humor. I'll have to introduce you two one day,."

"Well that explains a lot," Dean muttered under his breath to himself which made Azra laugh even harder.

"As for your other question, once in a while we get a soul that is so twisted that we can't let it in right away. Like the man you met, Bender I think his name was. The only way I can explain it is it's almost like a time out that they go into. They watch their lives play over and over until they start to feel remorse and change their actions. After a while, the part of them that is wicked melts away and then we let them through, do you understand? I know it's a lot and that's the only way that I can think to explain it," Azra finally finished.

"Yeah I guess," Dean grunted, not entirely satisfied that the Benders were in "time out."

"Good, look, I'm sorry, I have business somewhere else. I have to go but I'll be back soon," Azra said.

A look of horror crossed Dean's face.

"No not like that Dean. God when are you going to stop being so paranoid about me. If that was my mission, you wouldn't be standing here," Azra said as she faded away. "Oh, by the way," Azra's voice called out and scared Dean enough to make him jump, "Stay with your brother, he needs to feel you nearby. Plus it will make it easier for me to find you later."

Dean gulped, he still wasn't sure he liked the idea of death coming back to find him, but he did agree that Sam needed him close. So he did as she said.

Suddenly Sam felt the other presence disappear his headache was long gone, but he had to wonder what else it was that he felt. He sat by Dean's bed. He had no more to say, he had already made Dean every promise and threat that he could think of, all that was left was to wait.

And he did.

Dean couldn't help but feel guilty for causing Sam this much grief and stress. He walked over to where Sam was seated and began to speak.

"Sam?" Dean asked. No response came from his brother, what else could he expect? So he did the only thing he knew would reach Sam. Dean knelt down next to his brother.

Sam felt a hand on his shoulder and another over his hand and looked in that direction.

Dean was glad to see Sam glance in his direction, but he knew that Sam couldn't see him; he had almost the same look as when he was having a vision while he was awake.

"Sammy, look, I know you can't see me or hear me," Dean started, "But I know you feel that, and don't pretend that you don't." Dean rubbed Sam's hand a little to keep his attention.

"I know you think that you're to blame, but your not. This was an accident Sammy. You need to know that I'm fine, and I'll get back into my body and wake up for you as soon as I can get that figured out," Dean said.

Dean thought he saw a tear start to form in Sam's eye, but he turned away too quickly for him to be sure.

"Dean..." Sam said softly as he looked at his brother's face. He felt something wet slide down his cheek, but he didn't care.

Dean had moved to the unoccupied chair after a few minutes, Sam couldn't handle Dean touching him for too long. He had watched him as Sam finally drifted back to sleep, hopefully he would get some rest before the next nightmare hit. Dean sat there and watched as Sam slept peacefully until he heard his name.

"Dean, I'm back," Azra's voice said before she had totally reappeared.

"What, you have a meeting with Fate or something?" Dean said mockingly.

"Or something," Azra said somewhat darkly, "By the way, Fate's a jerk, we went out," Azra said jokingly.

"Seriously?" Dean said as he raised an eyebrow.

"No, just teasing you," Azra laughed, "But he is really a jerk, he's so full of himself. I prefer Free Will."

"Yeah, I think I do too," Dean said.

"So should we get down to business?" Azra asked.

"Business?" Dean asked confused.

"Yes Dean, you don't think that I'm hanging around you just for your good looks do you?" Azra smiled.

"Well," Dean lowered his voice and smiled, "I can be quite charming."

"I'm not sure 'charming' is the correct term for you Dean," Azra teased.

Dean's expression changed as his ego was deflated.

"Ouch! That one hurt," he said with smile as he put his hand over his heart.

"I knew I kept you around for a good reason, you're funny. I've got to tell you though, I was tempted when you were electrocuted a few months back, but then you made funny little remark about Snuggle and I thought that I'd let you stick around," Azra laughed.

But Dean wasn't laughing. He looked at her with one of the saddest expressions she'd seen in a long time.

"Oh I'm so sorry!" she quickly apologized, "I didn't realize-,"

"No it's fine!" Dean said sharply.

"Dean, I know, it's scary to realize that you won't live forever. That's something that you had to learn to soon, and for that I'm sorry." Azra said.

When Dean didn't say anything she added, "Dean, I needed you to live. I could have taken you, but I didn't. Who do you think influenced Roy to pick _you_ out of all of those people to heal? In fact, do you remember when you were hunting that reaper?" Azra asked.

"Yeah," Dean said, how could he forget?

"It was headed right for you, it would have taken you if I hadn't have stepped in. Who do you think guided Sam out of the cellar that night?" Azra stated. "And there have been plenty of other times too Dean, I think you know what I'm talking about," She added with a smile.

"The asylum!" Dean asked.

"Yes Dean, I was there with you. Since when do you carry around a useless weapon?" she said.

Dean had counted his lucky stars that the gun didn't fire when Sam pulled the trigger. But then again, he didn't think that Sam would.

Azra came up behind Dean a smacked the back of his head, "By the way that reminds me... WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU DOING BACK THERE GIVING HIM A LOADED GUN? YOU KNEW HE WASN'T IN HIS RIGHT MIND! Some days I swear you have a death wish or something Dean. You're lucky that I let you off with just the rock salt, I should let Sam shoot you in the foot or something, maybe that will knock some sense into you!"

"Oww," Dean said rubbing the back of his head but then he started to nod his head in agreement, "Yeah, that was pretty stupid."

After he paused for a moment he asked, "So is that why the scarecrow didn't take us?"

"No Dean, I have a life outside of you. That was luck, so don't get careless thinking that I'll come and save your ass every time you get into trouble," Azra said plainly.

"Got it," Dean said, "So what is this business?"

"Well, I have to work through you Dean, so I'll let you choose who should we start with, John or 'Sammy' over there?" Azra asked.

"YOU'RE NOT TAKING THEM!" Dean said protectively as he rose to his feet.

"And I have no intention to Dean, it's more like... a friendly chat I guess." Azra smiled.

Dean didn't want to wake his brother, he was still sleeping peacefully, and that happened so rarely.

"Dad first," Dean said.

"Right, let's go then," she said as she started to leave.

John's room wasn't very far from his and John was sleeping when they arrived. Dean noticed as soon as the walked in, the T.V. screen that was on went static.

"Do we have to wake him?" Dean asked.

"No, I need him asleep, I work best in people's subconscious," Azra explained. "Again, people see death coming and they start to panic."

"Right, so what do we do?" Dean asked.

"First, go to the opposite side of the bed," Azra ordered.

As soon as this was done she took Dean's hand and touched John's cheek with the other. "As soon as your ready to start put your hand on him Dean," she said. Dean took a deep breath and after a moment, he did as he was told.

The room suddenly seemed like it was spinning but it wasn't the dizzy effect that Dean was used to and he remained standing as they entered John's dream

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TBC... Chapter 3 out of 4. We'll folks, it looks like we're almost done, it's really great to read all of your wonderful comments. I never thought that my first fic would be recieved this well and I really appreciate everyone's kind words and everyone being patient for the chapters. I wont be evil much longer, the soonest I'll post Ch. 4 is tonight, I'll post it tomorrow at the latest. But tell me what you think, I love honest opinions. Your comments make me a better writer. When I was writing this, I had a different plot line in mind but this is what came out as I was typing and I like it better. I hope you've enjoyed the ride so far. You all rock my salt!


	4. Chapter 4

I'm in a slightly less evil mood tonight, so I decided NOT to make everyone hold out until tomorrow. The comments have been great! I hope everyone likes the ending. This is the last chapter so no more suspence, Enjoy.

Dean found himself in a hotel parking lot next to Azra.

"Where is he?" Dean said as he searched around the parking lot for his father.

"Relax, he's in room 167," Azra assured him.

"How do you know that?" Dean questioned.

"Angel of Death remember?" she shot him a look that pretty much said, 'duh.'

"Well yeah but I didn't think-," Dean was interrupted.

"Just go, it's that way," she motioned to her right slightly irritated at being underestimated.

They knocked at the door and waited a moment.

"Oh yeah," Dean said as he proceeded to give the secret knock that John had drilled into him and Sam since they were too young to remember. Azra just rolled her eyes.

The door opened slightly and then was opened wider when John realized who it was.

"Dean!" he said with a smile, and then turned to face Azra, "Who's this?" he said suspiciously.

"It's alright Dad, she's... a friend," Dean paused, "She knows about what we do," Dean tried to assure his father everything was fine even though he wasn't quite sure himself.

John led them into the room and latched all of the locks after he closed the door.

"John, you know as well as I do that _THOSE_ won't stop a thing," Azra said.

"Yeah, but they'll slow it down and they sure make me feel a hell of a lot better," John said.

"Let's get down to business John," Azra said.

"What's this about Dean?" John was clearly alarmed by the woman.

"Just listen to her Dad, I think that it's important," Dean said although he honestly had no idea at what was going to happen.

"Fine, but get to the point," John said, something didn't sit right with him.

"Since you put it that way John," she paused and then called sweetly, "Mary, would you please join us for a moment?"

Dean and John were taken back by what they saw; Mary appeared as beautiful as ever.

"John," Mary said with a smile.

"Mom?" Dean's voice cracked as he walked over to hug his mother for the first time in over 20 years.

"Yes, it's me Dean," Mary said softly as she wrapped her arms around him.

John was speechless, he didn't know whether he wanted to grab his gun or believe what his gut told him, that this was real.

"I'm so proud of you Dean," Mary said, "I've missed you so boys so much."

"Mary, I hate to rush this, I know that it's been a while, but we need to keep things moving, we don't have much time," Azra said as nicely as she could, but it was hard to make the words sound right. "I believe you had something to say to your husband."

Mary nodded with a tear in her eye.

She whispered into Dean's ear before she broke away from the embrace, "Dean, remember this, I didn't have much time back in Lawrence. I'm always watching you and I will always love you, you are always my son."

Dean fought back his emotions and managed to get out a, "Yes mom," before he went to sit on the bed and compose himself.

"Alright Azra, I won't keep you," Mary said.

"Oh Mary!" John finally said.

"I wish I had more time John, but I need you to just listen. I've watched you, and I'm so proud that you save so many people. But this agenda you have about avenging me, it's gotta stop," Mary paused. "I want you to be happy John, I want you stop being so reckless, so ready to sacrifice yourself to this cause."

"Mary, you don't understand. If we don't stop this thing, it's just going to kill more and more people," John said as he walked over and put his hand over her cheek.

"I understand completely John, I still want you to kill the demon but," Mary swallowed. "I also want Sam and Dean to have a father when this is all done, do you understand?"

John pulled Mary close to him and after a moment he swallowed a tear and said, "Yes Mary, I understand."

"I'm sorry to cut this short Mary, but I need to move on," Azra said.

"I understand Azra. Remember this little talk John," Mary said before she finally looked at John and Dean and whispered, "Good bye." With that Mary's spirit faded away and she was gone.

Azra then stood up and walked over to John and put her hand on his cheek.

"Dean, take my hand, it's time to go," Azra said and as soon as she felt his grip she looked into John's eyes and said, "John, wake up." And he did.

They were suddenly back in the hospital and Dean watched as his father woke up.

"Dean, we need to move faster or Sam will be awake before we get back," Azra said.

As he was leaving he thought he heard his father whisper his mother's name.

They arrived back in Dean's room to find that Sam was still sleeping, but he was having another nightmare. A cold sweat covered Sam, he had obviously been in his nightmare for a long time.

"Your brother's going to be harder than your father, I hadn't counted on us taking this long," Azra said as she looked at Sam.

"Sammy," Dean said with concern as he rushed over to his brother.

"No! I can't let you wake him Dean, not yet," Azra said.

Dean stopped as he was about to touch his brother.

"What do we do then?" Dean asked, he could hardly bear to watch his brother as he was fighting off some invisible foe.

"We go in together, just like with your father," she explained. "Let me see if I can put his mind a little more at ease first." Azra walked over to Sam and started stroking his face and pushing his hair out of his eyes.

"That's it Sam, just relax, everything's alright," she cooed.

Sam stopped moving in his sleep, Dean even noticed his breathing even out a little too.

"Take my hand when you're ready Dean," she instructed not taking her gaze away from Sam's face. Dean immediately grabbed her hand and they left the world of the hospital and arrived in Sam's dream.

Dean found himself in Sam's old dorm and saw Sam in the corner breathing heavily and looking confused.

"I thought I'd bring him some place familiar for this," Azra said to Dean, "You better go ahead of me, he'll be pretty confused. Just don't wake him up."

"Yes Sir!" Dean replied with a smile.

"Don't you give me that crap Dean Winchester! You forget, I am death," she said with a smile.

"You just have to hold that over my head don't you?" Dean said.

Azra smacked him again, "Just go, Sam's waiting for you." She saw Dean rub the back of his head and glance back at her. "Yeah, well it serves you right."

Dean walked into the room and met Sam's gaze.

"What's going on Dean, how did I get here, I wasn't here a minute ago?" Sam asked.

Dean let out a short laugh, "That's a funny story; maybe I'll tell you the whole thing sometime."

"Huh?" Sam said.

"Never mind Sam," Dean replied and he paused long enough for Sam to say something.

"Dean, something's not right here, I can feel it," Sam started, and then he whispered. "Dean, there's something behind the door!"

"Just relax Sam," Dean wasn't sure how to start the whole 'The Angel of Death is on your door step, may she come in?' speech.

Azra heard Dean hesitate and decided it was best if she came out.

"Sorry Sam, I didn't want to startle you," she said as she came into view.

"Who's this Dean, and how does she know me!" Sam demanded.

"Just relax Sam, this is Azra, she's a friend of mine," Dean said.

"Oh," Sam said as he walked over to Dean. Once Sam was sure that she couldn't hear him he whispered to Dean, "Dean are you aware that you girlfriend over there isn't human?"

"How did you-," Dean was interrupted as Azra walked over.

"Please Dean, your brother isn't stupid, he sensed that I'm different," Azra then turned her gaze to Sam. "Although, he doesn't know who I am." Sam's eyes widened as he stepped back from them.

"It's alright Sam. She won't hurt us, she isn't evil," Dean said. "At least for the most part," Dean laughed as he said this.

Azra shot Dean a dirty look and assured Sam, "He's joking, you know how he gets when he thinks he's going to be trapped in a chick flick."

"Let's sit down Sam, we have a lot to talk about," Azra requested.

"Alright..." Sam said, but he still wasn't sure he trusted her.

"I'm going to go straight to the point Sam," Azra said. "You're blaming yourself for Jess's death and you need to stop, it's not you're fault."

Sam face changed to anger, how did she know about this?

"You told her didn't you Dean?" Sam said with disappointment.

"No Sam, I didn't, she already knew. I can't tell you how, but you need to talk to her. I think she can help," Dean said.

Sam let out a heavy sigh and began to speak with his gaze to the floor.

"I had the visions, I saw it. I should have been honest with her, I should have warned her," Sam said.

"Even if you would have warned her, do you think that _that_ alone would have stopped the demon from coming?" She asked.

"I don't know, maybe," Sam said.

"I can tell you for a fact that the demon would have come for her anyway, and as much as I hate to say it, I think that the demon had her marked a soon as she met you. It's the same with your mother."

"I knew it," Sam said. "I knew that this was all my fault. Why me?" he asked as he looked up at her.

"Because Sam, the world needs your family," Azra replied.

"It sounds like the world would be a lot better off without us; so many innocent people die because we've failed too often, because I always seem to mess up something," Sam said.

"No Sam, so many people are saved because of your family. Mary died to make your father start hunting Sam... So that he could train you and Dean," Azra said. "And Jess died so that you would start hunting again."

"Then I'll stop hunting, I can't give the demon what it wants," Sam began.

"Wrong, you need to keep hunting, keep saving people. Yes, the demon wants you to hunt Sam, but it has its own agenda and I don't plan on letting it win," Azra explained. "Letting you stop hunting for now would be letting it win. I can't explain it to you Sam; you have to trust me on this."

"Why should I trust you?" Sam asked.

"Well for one, you don't have a choice. And second, you should know that if you stop now, Jess, your mother, they would have died in vain. Is that what you want Sam?" Azra asked.

"No, it's just," Sam paused, "It's just sometimes I think that the world, my family, they would be a lot better off if I weren't born."

"Don't you dare say that **_Samael_ **Winchester," she said sharply, "This is what's meant to be, if you were never born Sam, there wouldn't be a world to save."

"Sammy," Dean started to talk, "Why didn't you ever tell me you felt that way?"

"Because Dean, you couldn't have understood and besides, 'No chick flick moments' remember?"

"I'm sorry Sam, I had no idea," Dean said softly. "Sam I can tell you, this family needs you; Dad and I, we need you. Hey, how many times have you stopped Dad and I from going too far?"

Sam only sat there quietly with his head down.

"Look at me Sam!" Dean said, "You need to listen to Azra, she knows what she's talking about."

Sam finally looked up at Azra, "What do you mean 'wouldn't be a world to save'?"

"I wish I could tell you, I really do, but even if I did know everything, I'm not allowed to say- it's against the rules," Azra said.

"Then tell me this, what are you?" Sam asked.

"You're not ready to know that Sam, it took me some getting used to when I found out," Dean answered.

"I want to know Dean," Sam snapped back at him.

"Your brother's right Sam, you're not ready to find that out, not yet. I can tell you that I'm your friend and you'll be glad one day that I'm on your side," Azra said.

"You never told me why I was chosen," Sam stated.

"Because I don't know, I wasn't the one who chose you and those like you. I would ask you 'why not you?' but then that would imply that anyone could've been chosen and I don't think that's the case here. Tell me Sam, could you honestly see Dean in your position," she laughed a little at this.

Sam pictured their roles reversed, if Dean was him and finally he looked up at Azra with a smile and said, "Hell no," with a laugh.

Dean didn't know if he was supposed to be insulted by this, there was something unsaid that passed between them, so he responded in the way that he deemed most appropriate.

"Bitch," Dean said to Sam.

"Jerk," Sam said right back.

Azra laughed at the little exchange, she'd never seen two brothers so close before.

"Do we have an understanding Sam?" she asked after her laughter stopped.

"Yes, we have an understanding, for now," Sam said.

"Good, then my mission is finished," Azra said, "Oh by the way, a friend of yours has a message for you."

Suddenly a figure came out of the shadows and Sam gasped at what he saw.

"Jess..." Sam said.

"Hey, Sam," Jess replied as she went to grab Sam's hand.

"Listen Sam, we're kinda on borrowed time here so I have to make this quick," Jess said. "I want you to take better care of yourself, you look like hell. Get some sleep, I know you've been having nightmares, but I'll see if I can make sure that you get a few restful nights now and again. I want you to do what Azra said, keep hunting," Jess said.

"I'm sorry Jess," Sam said.

"Don't Sam, it was my purpose. I want you to know that I would have said yes," she continued.

Sam gave her a confused look.

"I went to Stanford too Sam I'm not dumb. You don't think that I caught you looking at rings a few times? I wanted to let you do it your way, but no matter how you would have done it, I would have said yes. I know that's been bothering you, among other things," Jess then leaned in close to Sam and whispered in his ear. "I also want you to know this, I found out about what you and your brother do before I... you know..."

"How? I never told you," Sam was puzzled.

"While you were gone with Dean, I went through some of your, um, _things_ for lack of a better word. Among other things, I found letters; letters to Dean about how you missed him, letters to your Dad about how you were sorry about the fight, letters that you wrote, but never sent. I want you to know that I was scared at first, but then I understood why you didn't tell me. Let me tell you Sam, you were right, you guys aren't exactly the Brady Bunch," she finished.

Sam let out a half laugh half sob and said, "So you're okay with it?"

"I'm more than okay with it Sam, how many girls get a boyfriend who's a handsome genius and kills the things that go bump in the night in his spare time?" she asked.

"Jess, it's time for you to go back," Azra said.

"I love you Sam," Jess said. Sam and Jess leaned in and shared one last kiss. And when Sam opened his eyes, she was gone. "I love you too," Sam whispered.

"It's time for us to leave Dean," Azra said.

Azra touched Sam's face as she did John's and waited for Dean to grab her hand. After a moment he didn't and she faced him and said.

"Uh... Dean awkward moment here, you mind speeding things along?"

"Yeah, I'm coming," Dean grumbled, he was tired of following orders. He reached for her hand and stopped.

"By the way Sam, you mind moving that damn salt? It's a bitch and I'd like to get back into my body will I'm still young and good looking," Dean said.

"You mean to say that you've been trapped the entire time?" Sam said horrified at what he'd done.

"Yeah, and I want you to know that Metallica," Dean paused, "Metallica is a classic and it's better than any of your music!"

"Oh, you heard that?" Sam asked.

"No, I'm a mind reader now; of course I heard that," Dean replied. "So about the salt, it's been a real pain in the ass to me."

"Sure thing Dean," Sam replied.

"You two can talk when you're awake, I have other business to attend to," Azra interrupted.

"Oh, right, forgot," Dean said with a smile as he took her hand.

They were back in the hospital. Sam suddenly woke up without gasping for once.

"That was a weird dream," He said aloud. He felt something jab his arm.

"Dean?" Sam asked then he remembered, the salt. He grabbed his jacket and quickly used it to brush away a large area of the salt and disrupt the ring.

"Come on Dean, wake up, you don't have anymore excuses," Sam said leaning into his brother.

Dean looked at his body and back up at Azra, "How do I-,"

"Just lay down like the bed it empty and settle in," Azra said.

Dean sat on the side of the bed and before laying down looked at Azra one last time with sincerity and said, "Thank you," he paused. "For everything, you know?"

"Hey, this isn't a chick flick. Don't keep Sam waiting, the suspense is killing him," she said.

Dean looked at Sam and looked back at her with a twisted smile, "Maybe I'll just let him sweat it out one more minute."

"Go Dean, before I change my mind about you," Azra said.

"Playing the death card again I see, alright I'm going," Dean said as he started to lie down.

"Wait," she said before he was fully on his back.

"What now? Make up your mind," Dean said.

"Just remember this, just because you have me watching your back is no excuse for you to get sloppy Dean, you wont like my sense of humor, understand?" Azra asked.

"I wouldn't dream of it," Dean said as he continued to lay back and with his last glance before settling in, he shot a wink at her.

Dean's eyes were closed; he felt Sam close to him and heard him calling his name.

"Dude, get off of me," Dean grumbled.

"Dean thank God, I thought you'd never wake up," Sam said as he gave Dean more space.

"You think I'm gonna stay in a hospital where the nurses aren't even hot?" Dean said, "I pick the next one, you always pick the ones with the ugly nurses."

"Well if they weren't ugly, I'd never get you to leave," Sam laughed.

They sat there looking at each other for a moment and finally Sam broke the silence. He was still thinking about the last dream he had.

"Dean, did you have a dream about a girl, she had brown hair and green eyes?"

"What, you have that dream too?" Dean asked with a sly twisted smile, "She sure was an angel wasn't she? And the things that she could do with a-," Dean felt something invisible hit the back of his head and smiled even more.

"Get your head out of the gutter for once Dean," Sam said.

Dean looked down at the salt mess around his bed, "By the way Sam, I'm curious to know how you explained _that._"

Sam laughed, "I told them it was in our religion."

"Nice Sam, that's actually believable. And it's at least somewhat close to the truth," Dean said.

They were admitted from the hospital three days later. John had left the day after Dean woke up. It wasn't easy, but Sam managed to find a rental while the Impala was being fixed.

"A VAN SAM! YOU GOT US A VAN!" Dean yelled.

"It was the only thing they had with a cassette player," Sam said. "God knows you can't drive without that noise. I'd be risking my life."

"Fine, I don't really feel like arguing," Dean replied. "It's the damn mystery machine from that cartoon," Dean muttered under his breath.

"What's that Dean?" Sam asked.

"I said 'where to?' Sammy," Dean replied.

"Dad said that he'd meet up with us in Maize before we went to Lawrence, it's a small town north of Wichita. I think he wants to lay low for a while," Sam answered.

"Maize it is," Dean said as he put in an ACDC tape.

"Besides, I had your car towed to Dad's old garage. I know you don't trust anyone besides them to take care of her," Sam said.

The van hit the interstate and drove off as Rock and Roll Ain't Noise Pollution played in the background.

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End of this fic.

I'm considering making this into a series. Feedback? Thoughts? (I have no idea when I'll have the time though)

I'd like to thank my wonderful beta who was patient and didn't murder me in my sleep with a guide to punctuation.

Your comments rock my salt. I hope everyone enjoyed it. This is the end of the beginning and it kinda makes me sad. You only get one first fanfic and this is it. Much Love. Redwinged Blackbird.


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